I Can’t Take It Anymore! : Tips to End Baby Daddy Drama | Epic Mommy Adventures

I Can’t Take It Anymore! : Tips to End Baby Daddy Drama

I Can't Take It Anymore! : Tips to End Baby Daddy Drama - Part 2
Sometimes Being Sick and Tired Gives You The Strength To Press On

Co-parenting is not for every set of parents raising a child separately. It really isn’t.  You can’t force a positive and healthy co-parenting relationship if both parties aren’t willing to work together to make it work.  If one party is not active and engaged, disrespectful or inappropriate – trust me, the healthy and positive co-parenting relationship will diminish very quickly. Instead it will become an unhealthy impact on your child’s life.

I have tried – Lord knows I’ve tried – to have a positive co-parenting relationship with Micah’s father.  I encouraged it even when I knew he wouldn’t deliver on it.  I continuously called him and let him know what was going on with Micah.  I asked him numerous times (till I was blue in the face) to spend time with Micah beyond the 2-week visitation so they could get to know each other one-on-one.  I dealt with the yoyo games – him showing up, then not showing up, then wanting to see Micah again, then disappearing once more. Even then, I welcomed him back into Micah’s life just so that they could have a positive relationship.  I didn’t want Micah to grow up not knowing his father, especially with him being just a couple of minutes away.  (If you haven’t read those co-parenting stories yet, check it out in my Co-Parenting Woes category.)

But NOW, I’m at the point where I can’t take it anymore.  I don’t want to be bothered unless he is fully devoted to being a true co-parent and not just a show-up-when-I-want-to parent.  I can’t deal with it anymore. I don’t want to see my child crying, begging me to stay, and yelling anymore whenever I mention Daddy or tell him that he has to go to his father’s house for the weekend. I’m tired of him making promises to Micah, then each time fail miserably and I have to pick up the pieces. I’m sick of it! So until he gets his act together, I’m just going to continue moving forward as I have been and doing my part to make Micah happy and full of joy.

The morale of this story…you cannot force a parent to be a true parent. You will not have a successful co-parenting relationship if both of you are not willing to work together and make compromises all in the best interests of your child.  If you are pushing for it and the other parent is not, you will continuously be disappointed, frustrated, stressed – and really, who is that good for? Surely not you, and definitely not your child.

Baby Daddy Drama

I had to learn this lesson the hard way, and I hope that this post will help to avoid you learning this concept the hard way as well.  Here are some tips to end the baby daddy drama:

1. Stop bringing your emotions to a logic fight!

Stop calling that man harassing him about not being a father.  Stop texting him late at night when you’re irritated saying “You do stuff for your other children, why not mine?” Stop laying out all of your feelings about how he hurt you and you don’t understand why he’s doing this to you. Stop!  I have done this and I know there are many out there that have done the same thing.  It’s one of those days where you’re tired and irritated and your child is driving you up a wall.  Everyone gets that way sometimes, and it’s okay to feel that way sometimes.

But it’s a completely different thing to reach out to him and expose that moment of weakness and pain. Because he will just look at you as just that – weak. He will make every attempt to run all over you, especially if he’s that kind of person (my son’s father is!). Don’t show any sign of weakness because he will sniff it out and use it one day to throw up in your face.

If you want to put an end to the baby daddy drama and come to a positive co-parenting relationship one day, you have to put aside your emotions and start thinking clearly.  You have to truly be ready for this – because instead of him being the problem, you may just find yourself being the problem.

2. Idle threats mean nothing – if you say it, mean it and stick to your guns.

If you say it, mean it. If you don’t mean it, then don’t say it.  How many times have you told your baby daddy that you are going to take him for child support if he doesn’t get his act together? Did you tell him that he can no longer see his child? (I don’t agree with it fully, but I do understand the need to do it sometimes) Stop telling him that you’re going to do something and then falling for the crap when he convinces you otherwise.  Say it and mean it…and finally stick to it.  You will only continue to create more drama in your life if he believes that you are just giving idle threats.


Image source: http://rap.genius.com/

3. R.E.S.P.E.C.T. is a must.

I have spoken to so many single moms who say that their baby daddies disrespect them at every chance they get.  The biggest question is, “How can I get him to stop disrespecting me?”  I’m going to give you a hard truth right now – he disrespects you because you allow him to.

Did he curse you out the last time you spoke? What did you do – listen to it? I live for hanging up the phone on someone who disrespects me, especially when it’s my son’s father.  He will hear a click so fast if he even raises his voice at me. I’m not dealing with it. When you’re ready to talk to me like I’m a person, then we can talk.  Until then, you will continue to hear a click.

Did he yell at you for doing something wrong? What did you do – agree? I could be dead wrong, but you’re not going to yell at me.  I will accept my fault when you have calmed down. Until then, click!

Did he disrespect you in person in front of your child? Is this really how you want your child to see a man treat you? But that’s exactly what you’re presenting to your child. If you cannot take your child out of the situation, tell him very calmly that you will not accept him treating you or talking to you that way…and promptly WALK AWAY.

Did he threaten you the last time he saw you? Did he put his hands on you? Ladies, please, please, please put a temporary restraining order on him at your earliest convenience. Because if he did it once, he will do it again. And the next time, you may not be so lucky to walk away. I pray that if anyone is going through this, they immediately make their way to the police station.  Protect yourself and your child from him – you don’t know what he’s capable of doing and you shouldn’t wait to find out.


Okay, I think this is a good point to call it a day…I have many more tips, but I wanted to give you something to absorb.  I will be sharing a couple more tips next Friday.  So make sure to stop by and check those out – I’m sure that you will enjoy them too!

 Read Part 2 here…

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About Natasha

Hi, I'm Natasha! I'm a 30-something Program Manager and blogger at Epic Mommy Adventures. Most importantly, I'm a single mom to my adorable son, who drives me nuts in one moment and melts my heart in the next. I enjoy sharing our epic stories, giving advice to other single moms, and sharing my co-parenting woes. I also share blog hops, giveaways, product reviews, and so much more. Join the fun!


  1. Good job Natasha! I know from experience it is not easy to put your foot down but it’s necessary. You are stronger than you realize.

    Michelle @ On A Wing And A Prayer

  2. Just shared today to Twitter, have a great week!!

  3. This is such a tough situation. How brave of you and nice of you to share your positive tips with people going through the struggle. I’ve been on either end of it in different respects since I grew up with an absent father and then now my husband has children from a previous marriage. They were divorced/separated for a long time before we got together though so his kids and his relationship remained strong from what I can tell. And his kids are a lot older. One is in high school now and the other in college. We don’t get to see them as often as we’d like unfortunately since we live so far. The plan was definitely to have them visit a lot but much has happened financially since our move across country. This situation isn’t so complicated though since his relationship with the girls is pretty good. But when I was growing up, that situation was wayyyy more complicated. Ugh! I can see why so many women’s emotions tend to get involved, but you said it best, you really have to leave that out of it and try to think of what is best for your child….seeing the other parent to know they exist is ideal especially when they live close! Thanks for sharing another good post with us at the Creative Style Linkup!

    • Thanks so much for your comment Brittnei! You’ve so many amazing things that I don’t know where to start to respond. So instead I’m going to keep it short and simple – everything that you said is so true, and understandable. Being a person experiencing so many different sides of this, you definitely get it. I appreciate you sharing your (and your husband’s story) and I’m glad that things are going well. Wishing you the best! ๐Ÿ™‚

  4. Josette Wright says:

    My ex_boyfriend keep threaten me all the time. He trying taking my boys from me. He keep calling cps on me and doing other stuff to me. Please help me out.

  5. Hi Natasha
    I can say that the father of my youngest child I’d being so disrespectful towards, always lashing out through texting, calling me horrible names, also bringing my parents into our own situation and trying to turned them against me which that’ll never happened. I’m being hurt to the point I’m under a lot of stress, can barely cope with my everyday life, try to forcus on my three boys. He’s always putting the blame on me, making me out a hatful unkind mother, gosh who knows what he say or tell his friends about. I’m always kissing his sorry ass 24/7 while I’m doing it all by raising our child, trying to kind, loving, respectful sweet person/mother/parent, we we’re never together, he used me when I was at my weakest most my vulnerable time in my life and specially when he damn well knew I didn’t any more kids nor be with someone in a relationship either, I can’t seem to live my life in hatred disrespectful disloyal untrusting lieing controlling, demanding outright rude person who thinks his life would be better with me in it but truefully it wouldnt, nor could I ever be him specially when there’s no feels or love. I totally agree with everything you’ve said, told us. Thanks

    • Hi Natalie, thanks for stopping by! I hate to hear that you’re going through this, and that it is impacting your everyday life. Yes, you should be cordial to your child’s father; however, it is downright unacceptable for you to have to tolerate the disrespect and abuse. Make it known to him that you will not accept the abuse any longer, and work to rebuild your self-confidence and self-esteem. Focus on your kids – everything that you do is worth it when it’s for them. You are not what he’s saying that you are, so don’t become that person. Wishing you the utmost best! ๐Ÿ™‚


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