Did you parents embarrass you as a child? Showing up to book fairs? Trying to kiss you when you were trying to walk into school (and you were in your teens)? Arguing with your teacher and principal at any given opportunity? Showing up to your classroom to see how you were doing? Trying to switch classes or schools because they didn’t like how your teacher did things?
I remember promising myself that I would never become that kind of mom…and for a long time, it stuck in my head as the thing that I would avoid as a parent at all costs.
That is, until I had Micah and he started going to school. Yes, he’s 2 and he’s just going to preschool, but if I’m like this now, I can only image who I’ll become when my son is in elementary school and eventually high school.
Micah is in the process of transitioning from the toddler class into the preschooler class. And if I am completely honest, I’m dreading it. I can handle change well in my life and in some cases I thrive on it, but I get a bit nutty when Micah has to go through changes. A number of questions are going through my mind:
Will he like his new classroom?
Will he adjust well with his new classmates?
Will they be too hard on him?
Will the transition be difficult?
Will he like his new teachers?
Will I LIKE his new teachers? tweet
His school is really going through an effort to ensure that he has a great transition, though, and allowing him and 2 of his classmates who will be transitioning at the same time to be a part of the preschooler classroom a couple of days a week. So far, I have heard that Micah is doing very well, but I can’t help but be a bit nervous for him.
This morning was the first morning that I actually took him to the preschooler classroom. We arrived late (I overslept, and the electricity went off during the night and my phone died), so I was able to walk him over. Usually, I would drop him off to the toddler classroom and they would transition him to the preschooler room early in the day.
Micah didn’t want to go at first, but he welcomed the opportunity to walk with me. We quietly walked to the classroom with the Assistant Director. She always has a way of calming me down, so I wasn’t as anxious as I could have been if I was doing it on my own. I don’t even understand why I was so anxious – he had been going to the preschooler room and like I said, he was doing very well.
As soon as we walked into the classroom, one of his new classmates said, “Micah, you don’t belong here!” and I wanted to grab Micah and run out of the classroom, back to his toddler room and back to where I had become accustomed to him being. His new teacher welcomed him with open arms and had him sit down at the table with his classmates for a treat. Since it was his teacher’s birthday, they were going to have Peeps (I didn’t even know they still made them!). I left his lunch bag with his teacher, along with his nebulizer, and was about to leave his sippy cup when I learned that he would be using a regular cup (OMG! Panic attack, panic attack!) Micah was fine, adjusting well, and he gave me a big hug and kiss and told me he was okay before he completely ignored me and started his day.
All of my anxiety was for naught…he was okay! He comforted me with those words and I was able to leave him and feel a little bit giddy. The realization hit me on my drive to work that my baby was growing up! He was becoming his own person now and more independent. Although I will have moments where I want to punch people in the face because I may take some level of offense to an innocent statement (trust me, it happens more often than not, but I just call my dear friend Titi to calm me down), he will be okay and in turn, I will be okay.
I am fearful that I will become the mom that overreacts about the smallest things.
I am fearful that I will be ready to fight at anything that someone even considers telling my son.
I am fearful that I will literally have to punch someone in the face (not at his current school of course – I love all of the teachers there, but in future schools).
I am fearful that I embarrass him in front of his friends.
Regardless, I will be there whether Micah wants me there or not. Today, it will be if things aren’t going well in his new class, and in the future I will be there for whatever comes up.
Either way, I’m prepared to be that crazy momma whenever it is needed.