I was just reading this article on Babble.com the other day and remembered some of the things that I’ve heard in the past 2 years about being a working mom.
Moms are put into so many categories — SAHM, WAHM, WOHM — but people don’t focus on the one thing that counts – we’re all moms!
Who cares if you stay-at-home or if you work outside the home? At the end of the day, you are a mom and you love and care for your children.
I’ve been judged by many people about the decision to continue working full-time outside the home now that I have my son.
They are strangers 98% of the time, but even some people I know have asked the question.
So…what am I supposed to do? I’m a single mom; I have to work whether I like it or not. I am not in the situation where staying at home with my son is a choice. I really don’t think that people get that sometimes.
The article listed 10 things that you should never say to a working mom; however, I have my own list of things that I want to mention here and now.
1. “So…who’s raising your son while you’re at work.”
Excuse me, when did it become any of your concern how my son is being raised? People ask the craziest things because they feel that they can. Unfortunately for them, I will tell someone off that asks me this question.
2. “You should find you a husband so you can stay home with your son.”
Oh really, I need a husband just for this reason? Just so I can be able to become a stay-at-home mom? I want to meet someone and get married one day, but not for this reason. If it turns out this way, then it was meant to be, but I don’t want to find a husband just for this reason.
3. “You must feel so guilty and cry every day when you have to leave your son”
Actually, yes, I really do have the urge to cry every time that Micah’s Daddy comes to pick him up in the mornings or when I take him to Grandma for the day. It hurts even more when he looks sad and reaches for me. It’s heart-wrenching! However, I don’t need you to throw that in my face…I feel it enough on my own!
4. “Do you even have quality time with your son?”
Yes! Every chance I get! Just because I work does not mean that my son and I don’t have time together. Micah knows who I am and is so happy and excited to see me when I arrive home from work. He gives me the biggest hug and kiss every morning and every evening. He knows his Mommy! It doesn’t require me to stay at home in order to spend quality time with my child.
5. “I could never trust anyone else with my kids.”
This was my challenge when I was pregnant. I was really concerned about having to put him in daycare. So I set it up so that he would stay with Grandma at least for his first year. I completely agree with this statement, but it doesn’t change the fact that it’s none of your business.
6. “You’re choosing career over your kids?“
This is a biggie for me. This is one of those questions that just completely sets me on edge.
No, I have a career to support my family. I have a career to ensure stability for my family. I have a career so that we can buy all of our daily things. I have a career so that my son will never have to worry about a thing. That’s why I have a career. There’s never a choice or thought of any other thing since I had my son – he is first and foremost at all times!
7. “Awww…he just called his Grandma ‘mommy’. “This was possibly one of the things that pissed me off most. For a period of time, my mom swore that Micah was her child – she even got to a point where she made him call her Mama. Well, guess what, I changed that really quickly. There’s no way that my son will be calling anyone, not even my mom, Mommy. That right is reserved to only me. So although my mom was pretty ticked off, I made that end and quick.
A friend of the family was visiting and heard him call her Mommy. I probably was seeing red at that moment. Luckily, my mom shut it down because I probably would’ve snapped right at that moment.
8. “Did you hear about that study on children of working moms?”
A friend was reading an article about the negative effects of children with working moms. It mentioned something about children growing up upset that their moms did not spend enough time with them.
That is their situation and that study…I don’t feel that I have that issue with my son. I am devoted to spending quality time with my son and knowing and enjoying the things that he enjoys. We have our our time together and it’s precious and valuable.
9. “Women belong at home with the kids, not building a career.”
What is this…the 50s? How am I supposed to do that, when as I mentioned earlier, I am a SINGLE, working mom? Even if I was in a relationship and was a SAHM, am I not allowed to have a life outside of the house? Am I not supposed to have something that I enjoy doing? Can I have any interests outside of my son?
10. “Your son has another doctor’s appointment? Didn’t you just take him to a doctor’s appointment last week?”I couldn’t even answer when someone at my old job asked me this. I really wanted to smack her in the face. At the time, my son was horribly sick and he was only a few months old. It turned out that he had some virus and because he was so young, there was nothing to really give him. So I had to take him to the doctor every couple of days so they could monitor his progress. I couldn’t handle someone asking that kind of question when I was concerned about my son’s health.
Mommies: What are some of the crazy things that people have said to you?