Dear New Single Mom….

As I sit here cuddling my 4-year old son as he drifts off to sleep, I thought of you…

I wondered how you must be feeling, what worries you may have, and just all-in-all how you are doing.  I wish that I knew you personally so I could embrace you and let you know that it will all be okay.  Even on your best day, you may still need that hug for reassurance that you’re moving in the right direction.  Because let’s be honest – sometimes we wonder that, right?

Only a few short years ago, I was in your shoes. Scared, unsure of myself, concerned for my child — I was all of them, all at once.  It is nerve-wracking to understand how you allowed yourself to end up in this situation.

I was a few months short of turning 28 when I found out I was pregnant.  I was working as a contractor with an end date quickly approaching, living in my own apartment and wondering how I was going to continue to pay for it when this job ends and my child is born.  I could have had a great-paying job and fully capable of caring for myself; it wouldn’t have mattered.  You are still scared s*$tless when you find out you’re pregnant and realize in that instant that you’ll more than likely become a single mom.

I wondered how in the world I would do it all.  I was so nervous that I would fail my child in every way.  I wondered how I could get my child’s father to be involved the way he needed to, but I knew in my gut that he would not be there for my child.  I knew that I would be alone in this journey of parenthood, but I just as I knew this, I knew another thing for certain – I would be the best mom that I could be.  I would make sure that my child would have the world, even if I couldn’t give it to him all at once.

You see, everything happens for a reason.  You don’t know it now, but there is a plan for you and your child.  I’m sure there are people or even one person that loves you dearly, and willing to help you figure it all out and be there for you and your child.  There were so many people willing to help me through this journey, and I thank them all even for just the conversation that helped me get through the night peacefully.

It’s 4 years later, and things are progressively getting better.  Each day, I am thankful and grateful for the moments that I have with my lil’ man and the ability to make it through each day sane. It’s exhausting, overwhelming, fulfilling, and rewarding – I can’t imagine my life otherwise.

So when you’re at your lowest point and you’re wondering how you’re going to make it to the end of that dark tunnel, just know that you are not alone – I am thinking of you and wishing you the best.  Be assured that you will make through it all in one piece, and you will find a way to be successful no matter what.

Wishing you the utmost best!


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