Being single is not a curse or a death sentence like so many women like to believe. I know it can be depressing when you do not have a valentine for Valentine’s Day or those other designated days for when having a significant other is covenant. But being single is not all that bad, it really depends on how you look at it.
One joy that I learned from counseling couples is that most of them wished they were single again or wished they had enjoyed their life more when they were single. It seems that most single people can’t wait to go to the “greener grass” of marriage and many marriage people sit and wish they can go back to the grass of being single.
Why do you think that is?
The way I used to be, is that I thought going into a relationship would mean my fairy tell happy ending. I have come to learn that the responsibilities of being in a relationship can far outweigh those of being single. Meaning that if I could not handle being single and being happy than how could I handle being in a relationship and being happy?
Have you ever seen two immature people trying to have a relationship? Or better yet all it takes is for one person to be unstable in order for a relationship to be dysfunctional?
What I am trying to say, is that one cannot base their happiness upon weather we are with someone or not. The reason being is because relationships are full of up and downs and if our mood is contingent upon on how we are doing on our relationships then our mood is going to be up and down.
The key to loving our single life is to get to know ourselves and do things we like to do. And I bet you will find that being single is not so bad, I used to be one of those people that fretted at the title of being single. It seems that everyone around me was either married or coupled up. I always felt like the odd man out. But then I made decision to be happy no matter if I was with someone or not. And even though I am still not with anyone I am happy. I have found a way to be selective with those I date and not date out of desperation. I have come to be a better mother and spend more time with my son and spend my time pursuing dreams that I have for myself. I learned that just because I am single does not mean that my world has to stop until I meet someone.
As a result, I have learned to be happy with myself and all the accomplishments that I have manage to reach. This is the type of strength that I learn to require from each man that I date.
So being single is not curse or meant to make you feel like a lonely outcast. It is a time to get to know yourself and grow as a person. And who knows, it could be through these life experiences that you may meet your Mr. Right. But you have to go through them to find out.
Sophia Reed is a mother of one. She has a master’s degree in Human Services specializing in marriage, couple, and family therapy/ counseling, and is currently pursuing her PhD. in Human Behavior. Sophia is a Christian, and enjoys meshing her Christian values with her education and experiences. Sophia’s blog is http://therapyncounseling.