The other day I received an unexpected phone call…and honestly, I’m still trying to process it several days later.
I got a call from my son’s paternal grandmother…
We haven’t had the best of relationships, for obvious reasons. She is truly an enabler of her son, almost to the degree that she feels that he does no wrong. Understandably, that is her only child and he’s a boy, but still right is right and wrong is wrong. But, hey, to each it’s own. Either way, I am not one to ignore or avoid someone because of it, especially when it’s my son’s grandmother. To a certain degree I think she believes that I have a problem with her because I don’t allow Micah to visit as often as she feels that he should. You see, Micah’s siblings all go over to grandma’s house (Micah’s father lives there too) every other weekend. Many times, the moms need a break from their rambunctious child and feel that it would be a good idea for grandma to watch them for the weekend. If you noticed, I keep saying grandma…that’s because they all know that the father is not stepping in and being there for his kids. So grandma becomes that surrogate father in their own father’s absence.
Micah’s father would love for me to fall in line and just accept this arrangement, but I refuse to. As he is the one that filed for “parenting time”, I feel that it is important for the time to be used for just that. It can be used to build a relationship with his grandma and his numerous siblings, but first and foremost, it should be used to build a relationship with Micah. Instead, Micah barely sees his father – and I’m just tired of it. Now, it’s to the point where we can go weeks and even months at a time without hearing anything from him. It’s completely ridiculous!
Anyway…she called me to ask if I could add her to the list at Micah’s school so she can visit him from time to time. My initial reaction was, “Huh??!!” It’s been months since Micah has last been there or seen his father, and now his grandmother is calling to ask to visit him at school?
If she wanted to spend time with Micah, she could always stop by or call…or something. I mean, we do live within 5 minutes of each other so it is not that incredibly difficult to arrange. But I never expected her to call to ask if she could see Micah at his school. I asked her about coming over to visit…and she responds by saying that she didn’t know where I lived. Huh? Doesn’t your son live with you? He’s been to my apartment several times, why hasn’t she mentioned it to him? I told her where I lived.
Then, she goes on to say that it would be easier for her to visit Micah at the school because she takes walks in the area. Well, isn’t that convenient? I told her that it would be easier to visit Micah at my house as it wouldn’t impact his routine at school. I would hate for Micah to react to seeing her and either want to go with her (which he couldn’t) or cry because he thinks that he has to go to see his father (which is most likely).
I grew tired of the conversation…
We chatted for a minute or two about how Micah was doing and progressing over the past few months. Then, we hit the awkward silence. It was time to get off the phone; there wasn’t anything more to speak about.
I explained that I was willing to have her visit Micah’s school, with adequate warning. And I also would be willing to have her visit Micah at my house, also with adequate warning. She understood…and finally agreed.
We ended the call just as awkwardly as it began…
How would you have handled this awkward phone call? Would you have responded the same way? Share your thoughts in the comments below!