I can’t handle people putting obligations on me.
In my mind, it is not necessary to lie. You gain nothing from it. But for some people, they can’t even help to spew the lies that they spill. It just becomes 2nd nature for them.
On Tuesday, I had a very interesting conversation with Micah’s father. I know, you must be saying, why do you talk to this man? But he called me and I felt that he deserved to provide an explanation for the past few weeks…before I reamed him out.
Just for clarification purposes, Micah’s birthday was July 28th.
When he called, he got Micah so excited because he mentioned that he would be bringing Micah some balloons (Micah LOVES balloons) and that he would take Micah to Toys-r-Us to pick out a toy of his choice. Micah was excited all day, asking “Daddy, balloons right?” He was so excited that every time he asked, it would be a different version. Sometimes it would be “balloons, Daddy, right?” other times, it would be “balloons Daddy? Daddy balloons? Daddy toy balloon?”
Needless to say, Daddy never showed up. Micah was extremely disappointed. He’s in that phase now where he just gets really sad for a period of time whenever he thinks about something. He didn’t cry, but he just laid on me for most of the morning and into the afternoon.
I wasn’t having my baby sad on his birthday, so I ended up taking him out for balloons and heading out to Ihop for dinner. He was a happy camper the rest of the day, but it still hit me pretty hard that his father never showed up and never even called to say that he could not make it.
We finally hear from Micah’s father. Supposedly, he was hit by a car last Wednesday, July 31st – a car ran him over while he was walking across the street, while taking his daughter to a Justin Bieber concert up in New York (sounds bogus already!). This is his explanation as to why he couldn’t make it to see Micah on his birthday.
I’ve listed dates for a reason…he said that he couldn’t make it to Micah’s birthday (7/28) because he got hit by a car on 7/31. No, you are not mistaken, this is what he said.
Instantly, I confronted him on this discrepancy. How could you miss Micah’s birthday for an accident that happened 3 days later?
His response…”Oh, oh, oh…that’s right. Well, I was at work that day and couldn’t get out on time, then found out that I had walking pneumonia and was in the hospital on Sunday, 7/28 and Monday, 7/29.”
My response…”Ok, so what happened to calling and saying something or coming by on Tuesday, 7/30?”
His response…(raises his voice) “Well, you know things come up! I wish that Micah was old enough so he could understand this, because it just seems like you’re pumping his head up with all of these supposed facts and making me out to be the bad guy.”
My response…(laughing) “Goodbye…”
Of course, the conversation was much longer than this, because I attempted on two separate occasions to have Micah speak with his father, but he just didn’t want anything to do with the conversation. He was too busy eating his grapes and watching his shows to pay attention to his father.
I honestly think it hurt his father that Micah didn’t want to talk, but honestly, I really believe that as young as Micah is, he is starting to understand the lies that his father tells. He is recognizing that he can’t trust him to deliver on his promises. And honestly, I believe that these kids don’t forget a thing. They have the memory of an elephant at this age.
It’s incredibly painful to see it. As a mom, I want to take away all of Micah’s hurts and pains, but I’m realizing each day that I can only do so much. He has to realize the person that his father is and come to understand that his father will not change.
Oh yeah, he’s requesting sole custody!
At that time, all of this has to be brought up so that it is clear that he needs some serious parenting lessons. Although he has multiple kids, he does not realize the potential negative impact he is having on these children’s lives.
I just pray that the other kids have a support system with their mom as Micah will always have from me, my family, and my friends.